feel good bad assery
Every day I wake up and give gratitude for the most important things in my life.
My family.
My friends.
My puppy.
And the fact that social media did not exist until I was a (almost) fully formed human.
I literally cannot imagine how - weighing in at 98 pounds covered with acne, braces with rainbow rubber bands, rocking hair sprayed bangs (up top) and JNCO’s purchased from Ross (down below) - would have played out if selfies existed when I was a teenager.
I was already crippled with awkward anxiety that only hormones coupled with an affinity for crushed velvet can create!
It is impossible to fathom what that time would have been like if I was also simultaneously being manipulated by an algorithm designed to keep me attached to a screen and doom scrolling my peer’s infinitely-cooler-everything.
I am from the generation that remembers the first time the internet dialed up in their home. I can still hear the bing-bong-bing-bong-static combo in my head like it was fucking yesterday and as such, my current relationship with social media is complicated.
It is an integral part of my career and machinery I need to know how to skillfully operate.
And I do love how many videos of dogs reacting to inanimate objects it brings into my life.
But I am also very well aware that it exists on a fortress of evil, buttressed by the ugliest, most manipulative form of unchecked capitalism that has maybe ever existed.
I could write an entire rant post on this subject alone, but I urge you to listen to anything Tristan Harris says in the interim.
So why do I share with you my age, orthodontic history and preferences for attire circa 1997?
Because there are a lot of old-as-shit people running this country and even if they are not themselves old-as-shit they are operating in systems and legacies and precedent which are old-as-shit. Even if they come in cool - they get old-as-shit-ed and all of a sudden everything has digital American flags on it.
Nothing against old people. I aspire to become one eventually. But the fast changing, nuanced landscape of social media has proven a wily opponent for our literal or metaphorical geriatric friends.
Now I do have to give them credit for mastering the formulaic foundation of these platforms…
Fear + Hate + Shouting = Eyeballs and Followers
And also, the slightly more complex version…
Fear + Hate + Shouting + Money = Even More Eyeballs and Followers
And even if Dorsey grows a conscience or Congress figures out that Facebook isn’t on an AOL floppy disk sent to them by mail - and they decide to regulate some of these platforms, I have a feeling these baseline equations are here to stay.
And we can’t blame this tactic on only our angry (angry) Republican counterparts, we wielded (wield) these formulas too - because they work. And I know we can’t just post adorable dog vids when they are posting viral conspiracy theories and expect to compete.
But I do think - especially off-cycle - there is a way to absolutely crush them in finding eyeballs. And because our eyeballs will not be fear-stricken, panic eyeballs - they will look at more stuff from us.
I want trusting, happy eyeballs.
And I want a fuck-ton of them.
How does this look?
First point, anything any politician says on social media is going to immediately delight supporters and enrage opponents - especially right now.
While we need to keep their handles alive and well, and continue to delight the people who love us, we are never going to materially move the needle with cynics, undecideds or apolitical folks with an Instagram post from a politician's handle (at least not anytime soon).
Here is my pitch. We the party - and potentially even you the candidates - all need our version of José Andrés - celebrity chef and fearless leader of World Central Kitchen.
This man is fucking everywhere.
Georgians have to wait in a long line to vote?
José is there with sandwiches.
Spain gets hit by a once in a century snow storm and people are trapped inside?
José is there with sandwiches.
Capitol gets overrun by MAGA terrorists and Capitol Police are working late?
José there with sandwiches.
Guys these three things happened in ONE WEEK! Jose Andres and his team at World Central Kitchen are a truly amazing organization.
They do awe inspiring work.
But the most important lesson for us is that they have mastered the converse of the above formulas.
(Topical Moment + Disciplined Brand + Actually Doing Something) x Frequency = Happy Fucking Eyeballs
This is a much harder equation to master than shouting into the internet. But people who are tired of being shouted at, recognize it for its authenticity and reward it with eyeballs.
This is not digital flag waving and prepared remarks.
Look at this feed! This shit is not polished - but is incredible.
He is one part super hero, one part celebrity chef, all parts feel-good-bad-assery.
We need to adopt feel-good-bad-assery.
Tactically here is how this might look…
There needs to be a young person on each rep’s and candidate’s staff that has the flexibility to be their José Andrés. Be where the action is. Call attention to why it matters. Make a point that your rep/candidate has sent you there because it is important. Give them their own handle but reshare it on the official handle. It needs to feel real-time, unpolished, there-because-it-is-important. Give this person a budget! Let them do things in the moment that matter to people. Do not wait for a disaster - do it when literally no one else is doing it. Make it funny and relevant and topical and wholesome and worth watching. Sound overwhelming? Ask a fired up 23 year old. They’ve got it.
Look, I’ve made a vow to myself to try my best to not ever mention the too-much-OJ-mimosa colored, flock-of-fucking-seagulls-hair having, worst person in the world while writing these posts. And please do not mistake this statement as a compliment. But his willingness to live-tweet his (psychopathic, racist) feelings had utility. It was unvarnished - it was un-Washington - and even though he used this power for deep evil instead of any good at all, it did stand out because it was so unlike politicians. I am not saying we need to live tweet every thought and feeling, but I do think it’s important to note the difference. It is 100% clear that Biden’s tweets are carefully curated statements, and to a lesser degree Kamala’s too. I’m sure they approved them, but they sure as shit didn’t write them, and they aren’t the type of authentic window into their thought process that Voldemort’s were. I worry a little about the pace and frenetic energy vacuum that will be created when that godforsaken man is out of office (or right now because he is deplatformed - thank the fucking lord) - I’d rather control it with an imperfect-but-authentic voice than whatever evil, pasty gargoyle is waiting in the wings to step onto his platform.
In DC we have a @wethepeopledc and my particular favorite @wethedogsdc Instagram handles. It gives one DC resident (or dog) a day to take over and show their 50k followers just a normal day in their life. It’s pretty basic stuff but you pick up cool new restaurants to try or see new neighborhoods, shamelessly watch content about other people’s dogs. It’s some wholesome internet goodness. What if we created a similar handle for staffers of Democratic reps and another for staffers of Democratic candidates? Some really unfiltered, authentic, probably-a-liitle-boring backdrop to the digital flag waving I know you guys are going to insist we still do. We could let organizers take it over for a day and shine a light on their work and tell people how to help. If we get this right it would be the type of content that particular interesting posts will get scooped up and shared out - this has a real chance of finding folks that would never give Kamala a follow.
Give the Biden grandkids a handle. Let them capture some of the behind the scenes parts of his presidency. Make it unpolished. Make it full of ice cream. And trains. Or whatever makes Uncle Joe happiest. Make it poignant and topical when it needs to be. Joe Biden glows when he is around his grandkids and they can be the carrier of the feel-good-bad-assery message that he can’t be because he is a partisan politician.
To wrap up, a couple of notes on why I’m bullish this will work and why the time is very uniquely now.
I know this impacts the evergreen content vibe I was going for, but right now we are living through the ripple effects of a presidentially inspired coup (a sentence I never thought I would write). GIANT corporations have pulled support of Senators that supported the baseless voter fraud claims. I mean seriously huge corps. I’m reading everywhere that typically Q1 giving after an election is slow, so this might be more performative than anything BUT Republicans don’t know that they will be back Q2 - they don’t know how long this moratorium will last - and even if it is marginal it still hurts. Guys. We should be spending. Right now. A lot. And spending against things people don’t expect from us. As soon as the President is impeached and Biden is in office and the temperature cools even a little. We should be spending like crazy to build our brand when I know for sure Republicans are going to be playing it safe until they know their PAC’s are padded again.
You. Have. Millions. Of. Email. Addresses. You also have millions and millions of followers between everyone in our party. For a startup or a brand new handle, they would have to hashtag until their fingers bled to get enough followers to make a difference. One nod from AOC, one mention from Kamala, and we are in fucking business. Now obviously this whole strategy is on an obscure blog read by one person right now (hi Mom) - and would need to be thought through, mapped out, sold and budgeted for - but I swear to God guys you are one match away from lighting a fire that would unify your voice, build your brand, and do something the Republicans literally can’t. It is the stuff that marketers dream of - an organic, engaged audience with a new story to tell them. Even better? The story might lead to the rescue of the Republic.
Sounds dramatic, but I believe it.
I’ll end with this link to a Tweet of a TikTok from Meena Harris. 10/10. A young person did it so it’s cool. It is a behind the scenes lens. It’s topical. It’s light. And it is authentic.
More Meena’s. More José’s. More Trusting Happy Eyeballs.
